Dr. Daniel Siegel is a clinical professor of psychiatry at the UCLA School of Medicine and the Executive Director of the Mindsight Institute. He has authored or co-authored several books including Parenting from the Inside Out, the Whole Brain Child, Brainstorm, The Yes Brain, The Power of Showing Up, and Intraconnected.

SUMMARY:
We asked Dr. Daniel Siegel our toughest questions. We ask him what parents can do if they want to help their teen, but their teen does not want help. We talk about how to be a supportive presence, especially if your child is struggling with anxiety or depression. Dan explains that the brain has two states: a reactive state and a receptive state. The best parenting is done when parents are in a receptive state of mind. A receptive state means that we are open, ready to connect, curious, loving, and accepting. But acceptance is not approval; it's not being passive. In parenting, we can still have boundaries, and we can teach our kids. As adults, we have a chance to look at difficulties and really see them as opportunities to support our kids, especially during the tough times.

SUMMARY:
Vibha Arora understands why parents might be tempted to try to control their kids–to keep them safe, focused, achieving, or behaving. But is it possible to actually control another person, even a small person? And even if we could control someone else, is that the kind of parent you want to be? Vibha says, “connection–not control–is the true currency of resilient relationships.” In this interview, we explore practical tools, insights, and the advantages of forming a relationship with kids based on connection, rather than coercion.

SUMMARY:
We talked with Sandy about not just how to show up for our kids, but how to show up for ourselves. She says that “it is okay and important to want what we want, so our kids can feel the deep motivation to strive towards something they value”. Sandy shared tips on how to release strong emotions, hear and trust our inner intuitive knowing, be fully present with our kids, and balance our needs and wants while also supporting our child’s needs and wants. She shares how parents can shift to more empowering beliefs, from “I am responsible for everyone and everything” to “I trust and know that I am responsible for myself, and I hold space for others”. Ultimately, this conversation doesn’t just apply to parenting; these are tools to live an empowered life, while among other humans who also need our support and care.

SUMMARY:
Michelle Godfrey shares the pitfalls of people pleasing in parenting; it doesn’t teach kids to have healthy boundaries and leaves parents exhausted and overwhelmed. In the Positive Intelligence approach, Michelle explains each of the “saboteurs” (people pleasing being one of them) and leads us through an experience to get back in touch with our “sage” qualities. The Positive Intelligence approach was brand new for us, and this conversation with Michelle is highly recommended.